“Whatever we are looking for consciously or subconsciously is not outside of us but within.”

I like this quote. I still like to go on Tumblr to get good quotes. Usually I write them in my notes in my phone, but I want to post them on here more. I have posted a few, but want to do so more often.

But anyways, I like this quote bc I actually feel like this constantly. I always feel like there’s still something I’m looking for, but don’t know exactly what. It’s crazy bc you may think I have a lot already. I live in a new city, I work for a big company (which has its ups and downs, will save for another blog later) but I don’t know why I always feel like it’s not enough. So hopefully I can find what I’m looking for.

I’m actually trying to get back into music. So I’m auditioning for a class at Juilliard next week. Juilliard has night classes that are open to the public, and so I thought it would be fun to take a vocal class. But the class requires an audition, I think they want to know you can sing, or might be so they know what section to put you in. We have to prepare 2 songs and I’ve finally chosen which songs to sing. I went to a music store Friday night to look at music. I also had a lot of fun there playing instruments! They allow you to play the instruments on display, and I played a violin for the first time in like 10 years. Crazy right! It was so cool. I feel like I want to play violin again too, maybe after taking vocal class, but we’ll see.

Maybe music is what I’ve been looking for. I stopped singing and dancing a few years ago, but here I am coming back to them. That’s one of the things I’m thankful for being in NY, I feel like being here has helped me go back to the things I love. At the same time for a while I was so unhappy here, and that’s why I told myself I needed to find things to make me happy. So I do believe things happen for a reason, and I am happier where I am now.

Okay well going to sleep now, it’s almost 2a. Just stayed in tonight and it felt good to just chill and relax. Tomorrow need to practice more, and also want to go to church. Also if it’s not too cold I want to go running again. So going to sleep now. See ya!

-Carolyn ❤️

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