Been wanting to blog more since Marley passed, but it’s been hard. But I do want to record as many memories as I can, especially within these first few months since he left us. I don’t know, a part of me feels like I’m going to forget about him even though I know that’s not true. But I know overtime I will start to forget what it felt like having him here because memories do fade over time. Or maybe I’m wrong? I still have lots of videos of him which help me remember his presence. But of course, the exact feeling of him being here will fade. Maybe I’m just trying to hold on to those memories for as long as I can, but I know that I will never ever truly forget about him.
I still see him. I see him when King and I are on walks, and all of the parts of the sidewalks that he had peed or pooped on. I still see him walking with or right behind us since he got slower over the years. But nevertheless, he was always still right behind following me, and people thought he was so cute. I would feel so proud to be his owner that he and I had that trust with each other that he wouldn’t leave me and would always still be with me, following me.
I still see him inside the apartment lying in his bed, or lying on the carpet in the corner. Or just in the middle of the carpet lying with his head on top of his little paws laid out right in front of him <3. I still see him while I’m driving, lying in his bed in my passenger seat. I still have a bed in my car, but now it’s in the backseat as a backup for King. Even though I realize he doesn’t use it, but I guess I could start putting it in the front seat for him. But usually King just sits on top of the center console while Marley used to either be laying in the dog bed in the passenger seat or just laying in my lap while I drove (he did not move so was still safe lol and I only did that while on the streets and not the freeway, mostly).
I still see him before I sleep, lying in his bed at the foot of our bed on my side. I kept your bed inside the room for a couple weeks after you passed, but after a while, I realized I couldn’t bear it anymore and had to remove it. Now your bed is in the closet, but saving it for when I get another dog <3.
I still see you when I’m in the bathroom, and when I would come out, you would be standing or lying there waiting for me <3. I still see you in the kitchen waiting next to me for food, or going to your water bowl to drink water and then I would need to wipe your mouth each time (this was during the last 4 months after you had the surgery on your mouth). Although you splashed a lot after drinking water, you were still so cute and I just made sure to wipe your mouth after each time you drank water <3. You were always so good about drinking water =).
I still see you in the hallway running to our door and being so excited to come home. You really loved coming home lol and it was the cutest thing <3. Sometimes you had so much zoomies coming home that you would run past our door, and then run back, and then run past our door and back again until I caught up to you at our door lol. You were always so happy and seeing you happy always lit up my soul <3.
I miss you so much puppy ❤ I don’t cry as much as when you first left us, but I still have moments of crying, and they sometimes happen out of nowhere. You were a huge part of my heart, and you will be in my heart forever. I’m so thankful to have been your owner, and so honored that you chose me to love the most <3. I will forever be thankful for all of the memories and great times that we shared together, and I’m so thankful that we were able to go on so many adventures together <3.
-Carolyn 💜
Carolyn Grace 